


Coming Home

by basicallybookish



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Family, Hurt/Comfort, I cried while writing this, I feel so bad for all of the Hargreeves kids, I just have so many feelings okay, I just want them all to be happy, So yeah, and I like to think that Five would have been more emotional, and I think he and Vanya were close as kids, and he wasn't an emotionally stunted old man in a child's body, here you go, seeing his family after 45 years if not faced with the Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 17:04:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18014873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/basicallybookish/pseuds/basicallybookish
Summary: Vanya meets an old man one lonely night and offers him a sandwich. If only she knew how much it meant to him.





	Coming Home

Five was rarely given assignments during this time period. The time between when he ran away and the day the world ends.

 

It was smart, he supposed.

 

He had never expressed any feelings of compassion or indicated that he missed his family in any way. But he never expressed anything but general contempt and, occasionally, specific hatred towards those at the Commission—the only people he had interacted with in over thirty years—so it wasn’t all that odd.

 

The Commission knew nothing about him other than his abilities and his long history of being the only man on the planet, but that only meant that they had to be extra cautious. Just because he had never mentioned his family or openly voiced any desire to see them, didn’t mean that he wouldn’t seize an opportunity to interfere with their timelines.

 

So he was kept away from them as much as possible. It was a rule that went unsaid but understood. And it was a good rule, one Five would enforce himself, were their roles reversed.

 

But Five was a smart man—a genius, if he wasn’t being humble (which he rarely was). And he had underestimated just how much he would risk to catch a glimpse of his family if ever given the opportunity.

 

That opportunity came on a mission in 2004. He was supposed to be in Bulgaria, thousands of miles away from his family and theoretically safe from interfering with the timeline.

 

But as previously noted, Five was a smart man. And, as it turns out, he was also a desperate one.

 

It was a quick trip—it wouldn’t take long for the Commission to notice his absence and that just wouldn’t do if he wanted to prevent the Apocalypse at some point in the future. So he teleported as much as he could, onto a plane or a bus or a train, just so long as it was headed in the right direction.

 

 _Home_.

 

It took him fourteen hours to get there from Bulgaria. But it felt like a lot longer than that. Possibly because it had actually been forty-two years, three months, and seven days since he had laid eyes on the academy.

 

Since he had seen his family.

 

He didn’t know what he expected to find, but somehow the fully erect and functioning school that had been his home for thirteen years surprised him.

 

No decimated building. No rubble, no fire, no buried memories. No corpses belonging to his family.

 

In fact, he supposed they were all inside at this very moment, sleeping peacefully as night had fallen in the hours it had taken him to find his way here.

 

He supposed it was for the best, knowing that if he saw Vanya or Ben or the others, he would want to say something. To _do_ something.

 

He was supposing a lot because he wasn’t sure what else to do other than stare up at the building and think about what he would do if he could. What he could do if only he would be willing to try.

 

Five had never been weak, but he had been alone. So he knew that was why tears spilled down his wrinkled and weathered cheeks as he took in everything he had lost and was so close to having back.

 

Weakness wasn’t acceptable, but loneliness was an old friend. Five thought that maybe he had never actually felt this alone before. When he was traveling around after the Apocalypse, he had had Delores and a few fond memories of his family. Then he had no hope of ever seeing them again, and he had made peace with that.

 

Now he was ten feet away from them and still unable to reach them. To warn them. To protect them. To save them.

 

The tears fell harder and Five just stood there, watching and wondering if his time with the Commission was worth it. Could he really prevent the Apocalypse? Could he really make a difference? Or was it all just a waste of time? The dreams of an old man who had too little and too much all at the same time?

 

Perhaps it would be easier if he gave up now. No more killing done for the sake of humanity. No more dreams of a future where he could walk through that door again. No more—

 

“Who are you?”

 

The question was soft, drifting quietly to him in the silence of the night, but it still surprised him.

 

Humiliating, really. When was the last time he had allowed himself to be caught off guard?

 

As his tired gaze moved down to the stoop in front of him, he felt his heart freeze in his chest before it began pounding in earnest.

 

_Vanya._

 

She was still young, though two years older than the last time he had seen her. It was unsettling, to say the least. Seeing his sister who had always been growing along with him still so small. Still so young and— _Jesus_ was that _hope_ in her eyes?

 

“Who are you?” he mimicked, voice managing to come out clear despite his tears and more callous than he meant it to. But what else was he supposed to do?

 

He wasn’t sure what he had been hoping to do when he came here, but it wasn’t _this_. Talking to his fifteen-year-old sister who looked more than a little heartbroken as she stared up at him like he was just some _stranger_ and not her favorite brother.

 

“I…” she hesitated, voice meek and unsure before she seemed to find her courage. She lifted her chin, meeting his eyes with a forced confidence that made his heart clinch painfully. She was so, so young and still so scarred. “My name is Vanya. This is my house.”  


“Is it?” Five asked, discreetly wiping his eyes before shoving his hands into his pockets. “Then why are you out here so late, _Vanya_. It’s late. You should be in bed.”

 

Her name felt strange in his mouth—not because he wasn’t used to its sound anymore. He said all of his siblings names every night before he slept, an odd ritual that still stuck with him after all of these years. And he often talked about them to Delores when he still had her. It was the strangeness of speaking it _to_ her that had his throat closing and the burning sensation returning to his eyes.

 

Still, he fought to maintain his cool demeanor even if all he wanted to do was pick up his sister and hold her to him and never leave her again.

 

He told himself it was necessary, but he wasn’t so sure if that was true or if he just couldn’t fathom a reality where it was possible anymore.

 

“I’m… waiting for someone,” she answered, eyes lowering to the ground as she shuffled from foot to foot. Always so guilty, always so afraid to take up more space than she was allowed. Five’s brow furrowed.

 

“Who? Is your family not inside?” He wasn’t sure why he asked—if he was mad that they had possibly left her behind or worried that she was waiting for someone else. Someone who could hurt her. The thought made him sick even though he knew for a fact that she would be dead along with the rest of humanity in fifteen years anyway.

 

“Well… they are. Just not all of them. One of my brothers is… missing,” she said the word like she knew she meant something else, and Five felt his blood run cold. “He’s been gone for a while now, but sometimes I feel like he’s still around. Just waiting for me to come find him. But… the others think it’s silly.”

 

Five opened and closed his mouth, watching his sister watching the ground with an ashamed look on her face as he fought to find an appropriate response. One that wasn’t _I’m right here Vanya_ or _I love you. I’m so sorry I kept you waiting._ What he ended up saying was, “What’s his name?” Maybe because he wanted to confirm that it was him she was talking about and they hadn’t lost another sibling or maybe just because it had been so long since he had heard her—or anyone of importance—say his name.

 

“Five,” she said, his name catching in her throat in a way that made him think it had been a while since she had said it too. When he didn’t say anything, she sniffled and drew back, raising wide, apologetic eyes to his. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you, sir. I just—I thought maybe—I’m sorry. I’ll just… go.”

 

She turned to go, seeming embarrassed and heart broken and defeated, and Five’s frantically grasped at something else to say. Something to make her stay just a little longer. Something to dispel the sad expression on her face and thaw the ice that had settled around his heart, if only just for a second.

 

“What’s that in your hand?” he asked, just now noticing that she was holding something. She appeared to have forgotten about it as well based on the way she blinked down at it in surprise.

 

“It’s… it’s nothing. It’s just silly,” she said, turning back around to face him with a bashful expression.

 

“Oh, I doubt that,” Five reassured her. And for the first time in _decades_ he smiled. A genuine, real smile that felt a bit like coming home. Vanya smiled back, and he thought that made it worth the ache in his chest that accompanied it.

 

“It’s a peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich,” she explained, looking down at the plate with a fondness that took Five’s breath away. “It was his favorite,” she elaborated when he said nothing. As if he didn’t know. As if that’s not why he found himself suddenly incapable of speech.

 

“So… you made it for him? For your brother?”

 

Vanya nodded hesitantly, still hiding behind her bangs the way she always did. It seemed some things never changed. Or maybe it was just him that did. “I know it’s stupid—everyone tells me so. But I can’t stand the thought that maybe he’ll come back, and he’ll be hungry and alone and…”

 

“And?” Five urged when she stopped, crouching down so that he could meet her eyes.

 

“And then he’ll leave again,” she admitted in a whisper, as though if she said it too loudly, she would make it a reality. 

 

Five cleared his suddenly dry throat, offering her a less genuine smile as he fought to suppress his tears. He had dreamed of meeting his family again, but he had never imagined it going like this. For it to be so painful and for him to feel so _useless_.

 

“I’m sure that your brother would love that,” he said, and he was because he _did_. “And I know that when he comes back to you, he will do everything he can to stay with you.”

 

“Do you really think so?” Vanya asked, hope and pain clear in her timid voice.

 

“Yes.” Five spoke firmly, reassuringly, hoping it was enough to convey what he couldn’t say. “I think that one day, your brother will find you and he will never let go.”  


“Then why hasn’t he already?”

 

The question caught him off guard, though he supposed it shouldn’t have. Vanya was fifteen and upset and talking to a complete stranger about the brother that deserted them. It was natural that she would wonder why he hadn’t come back already.

 

It still stung though.

 

His immediate thought was to say that he couldn’t yet, that he wasn’t able to, but he knew that was a lie. He could now—he had the briefcase and the knowledge of how to use it. _Hell_ , he was actually there right now. But not in any way that mattered. Not in any way that would last beyond the next fifteen years.

 

What good was coming back just to watch his family die in the Apocalypse?

 

All good excuses, he told himself. He just wasn’t sure how to explain that to a fifteen-year-old who was his sister and who was mourning him when he was unable to simply _tell her_ that.

 

“Sometimes… Sometimes we have to do unpleasant things before we can do what we really want. Maybe he has something important to do before he can come home.” He spoke earnestly, in a way that he never had even before he left this place. He just needed her to believe him, for her sake or his, he wasn’t sure.

 

Luckily, she seemed to understand.

 

She nodded, hesitant at first but then surer, punctuated with a small, relieved smile on her face. “Thank you. I… I hope you’re right.”

 

“I am,” Five assured her, smiling at her one last time before rising from his crouch. “Goodnight, Vanya. I hope you see your brother again soon.”

 

He was half way down the block, footsteps fast and sure as he rushed to put as much space between himself and his home before he did something stupid, when he heard her voice again.

 

“Wait! Please, wait!”

 

Briefly, he considered picking up his pace or just teleporting away, if only that wouldn’t give him away. But ultimately, it was the desperation in her voice that broke him.

 

He stopped walking and waited for her to catch up.

 

“You never told me your name,” she said, voice still quiet and unsure despite the edge of accusation she tried to display.

 

“I didn’t,” he agreed easily, hands still carefully stuffed in his pockets as he looked down at where his sister was standing in front of him.

 

She blinked up at him, seeming to accept that he wouldn’t be answering her without surprise. He thought that was to be the end of their conversation, so he offered her one last nod before moving to step around her—only to be met with a plate being thrust at his chest.

 

He blinked down at the plate and the sandwich that it held, surprised and uncomprehending. “What are you…?”

 

“Take it,” she said, voice firmer than it had been all night. Probably firmer than it had been in years. “If my brother isn’t going to eat it, well… you might as well.”

 

“I…” Five started, a refusal on his lips before he could think better of it. Before he could give in to the desire for this little slice of normalcy and nostalgia that was literally being offered to him on a silver platter.

 

How long had it been since someone had made food for him? How long had it been since he had eaten his favorite sandwich? How long had it been since he had seen Vanya—sweet, innocent, _ordinary_ , Vanya—smile at him like they were sharing a secret?

 

Too long, he knew. So he reasoned that this small act of weakness could be excused.

 

“Thank you,” he said, reaching out to take the plate from her small hand. “This is actually my favorite.”

 

Vanya’s smile only grew at his confession, and she seemed immensely satisfied with herself. “Good. Consider it a thank you, for listening to me. For giving me hope.”  


Guilt weighed on Five’s shoulders as he thought back on the book he still had tucked away with his things. A book that hadn’t been written yet but would bring to light years of slights and cold-shoulders and loneliness that he had never noticed before.

 

He saw it now, on her pale, hopeful face. How much this one kind conversation impacted her. Like his mere presence and willingness to listen was the best thing to happen to her in a long time.

 

It made him sick.

 

He took a large bite of the sandwich anyway, both to see her smile again and fill the sudden void in his stomach. “No need to thank me, Vanya. It was my pleasure.”

 

He handed her back the plate without another word, sandwich still in hand as he turned his back on her and left. It was easier this way—he couldn’t bear sticking around long enough to actually say goodbye.

 

 _Besides_ , he thought with a smile, _I’ll see her again soon_.

 

And he would. No more dragging his feet or fucking around for the Commission. He was going to find a way back to his family, one that would be permanent. He would find a way to stop the Apocalypse before it even began.

 

He would save them all, and one day he would be able to tell Vanya that he was right, as he always was.

 

There would be no time for sweet reunions or tearful confessions, of course. He was a soldier now, and he wouldn’t rest until the world—and his family—were saved. But he would savor this, at least. A peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich and a few words shared with his favorite sibling. A smile and a promise. Hope.

 

It would have to be enough. For now.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first TUA fic, so I hope nothing is too ooc. I know Five is a little more emotional than he is in the show, but I like to think that he feels more than he shows. And he has shown that he's fiercely loyal and protective of his family, so yeah. We're just gonna pretend this happened. Let me know what you think!


End file.
